If you're feeling low, why don't you pick yourself out of the gutter And fill your brown paper bag with something for your mother I got news for you boy, you'll headline and feel a lot better You've got chains for brains when you eat 714's for supper Hey kid, you're only 16 and you've got too many lovers Don't put salt in your wounds if you're trying to make things better You're a puny under-nourished kid (yes, you are) Painfully unnatural kid Positively united with No respect for the other kids You go to the locker room and blow your head into a ball of fire Then you sprinkle a little dust to get a little higher That's no way to live, you've got to get yourself a new diet