Everyone's a Little Bit Racist

歌詞

Say, Kate, can I ask you a question? Sure! Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs? Uh huh. Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster. Right. You're both Monsters. Yeah. Are you two related? What?! Princeton, I'm surprisedat you! I find that racist! Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking! Well, it's a touchy subject. No, not all Monsters are related. What are you trying say, huh? That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, huh? No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist. I should say so. You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race. Well, look who's talking! What do you mean? What about that special Monster School you told me about? What about it? Could someone like me go there? No, we don't want people like you- You see?! You're a little bit racist. Well, you're a little bit too. I guess we're both a little bit racist. Admitting it is not an easy thing to do... But I guess it's true. Between me and you, I think Everyone's a little bit racist Sometimes. Doesn't mean we go Around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find No one's really color blind. Maybe it's a fact We all should face Everyone makes judgments Based on race. Now not big judgments, like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from No! No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak goddamn English! Right! Everyone's a little bit racist Today. So, everyone's a little bit racist Okay! Ethinic jokes might be uncouth, But you laugh because They're based on truth. Don't take them as Personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them So relax! All right, stop me if you've heard this one. Okay! There's a plan going down and there's only one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest... And a black guy! Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate? Uh... You were telling a black joke! Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes. I don't. Well, of course you don't you're black! But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right? Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks! Now, don't you think that's a little racist? Well, damn, I guess you're right. You're a little bit racist. Well, you're a little bit too. We're all a little bit racist. I think that I would Have to agree with you. We're glad you do. It's sad but true! Everyone's a little bit racist All right! All right! All right! All right! Bigotry has never been Exclusively white. If we all could just admit That we are racist a little bit, Even though we all know That it's wrong, Maybe it would help us Get along. Oh, Christ do I feel good. Now there was a fine upstanding black man! Who? Jesus Christ. But, Gary, Jesus was white. No, Jesus was black. No, Jesus was white. No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black- Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish! Hey guys, what are you laughing about? Racism! Cool. BRIAN! Come back here! You take out lecycuraburs! What's that mean? Um, recyclables. Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak? Oh, come off it, Brian Everyone's a little bit racist. I'm not! Oh no? Nope! How many Oriental wives Have you got? What? Brian! Brian, buddy, where you been? The term is Asian-American! I know you are no Intending to be But calling me Oriental Offensive to me! I'm sorry, honey, I love you. And I love you. But you're racist, too. Yes, I know. The Jews have all The money And the whites have all The power. And I'm always in taxi-cab With driver who no shower! Me too! Me too! I can't even get a taxi! Everyone's a little bit racist It's true. But everyone is just about As racist as you! If we all could just admit That we are racist a little bit, And everyone stopped being So PC Maybe we could live in Harmony! Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!