Rehab Center For Fictional Characters

歌詞

Ah, well, hello, everyone, uhm Welcome to the Rehab Center for Fictional Characters Uhm, alright, let's just get right to it Who wants to start us off, how 'bout you Kris? Uhm, alright Hey, I'm, uh, Kris Kringle I'm a sex addict Hey, I'm Santa Claus I'm the king of snow I hate my wife because She's a ho, ho, ho She used to please me everyday Then she made it clear That Santa's only s'pose to come once a year (Fuckin' bitch) Now I buy whores Rock 'n' roll And I stuff their stockings With my north pole Okay, Kris. Thank you Alright, who's up next? Patrick, frowny face, get up here Alright, I'm, uh, Patrick O'Riley I'm a leprechaun, are you all doing good? Yeah, I'm not doing so good I had a wonderful life With a healthy household And a beautiful wife And a pot full of gold (Ha!) Then my wife spent my riches All by herself And since women are bitches Blew a Keebler elf (Hm!) Now I drink all day And a part of me dies Cause my wife's gettin' gangbanged By the Rice Krispie guys "Hey, I know them" Oh, Tony, nice of you to show up Where were ya last week? I had some stuff, I'm, uh, hey, I'm Tony the Tiger, uh Fuck it, I'll just sing Everyday I wake up I get to work late My boss says, "Hey, what's up?" I say I'm grrrowing tired of this shit The kids they laugh Cause I'm a sensitive cat "Big pussy!" I can't argue with that If another kid Gives me Frosted Flakes I swear on my life I'll eat his parents Ok, Tone, thank you Uhm, so that's everybody So let's just get down to it Uhm, oh, who are you? Hi, yeah, hi, yeah, hi, yeah I'm the Easter bunny, hey, I'm back Used to be funny, now I'm hooked on crack Heaps of heroin, ain't no joke Marshmallow peeps covered in Coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke, coke, ahh, coke Drugs for life, that's my plan But now I have no attention spa-eeee... Ok, I'm gonna go get him, alright? You guys just please, play nice, alright? I'll be back in a second, ok? Hey, Pat, did you hear? All my elves got sick I think they got herpes from some Irish chick Motherfucker, what are you laughing at Tony? I don't know, it's, uh, it's funny, uhm This is getting ridiculous Santa, Tony, would you guys please stop? Oh, snap... crackle and pop 'Cause they banged your wife I'm getting out of here, this is fucking ridiculous