The Philosophical Significance of Shooting My Sister in the Face: An Essay by James Secord (Demo)

歌詞

Life gets dull. Life always gets dull. Life stays dull too, at least until something eventful happens. Even if you realize this, you still hate it when life gets dull. Life was so dull last week, I shot my sister in the face. I'm constantly finding life uninteresting and repetitive, and I'm continually craving change, To fall into a perpetuate routine is ridiculous, spending everyday doing the same things and never stopping to experience new pleasures. However, breaking a routine, or steering clear of one, is a very difficult thing to do. You get into routines in the first place by developing a way of thinking, an outlook on life. No matter what your views may be, you'll always have a perspective on life… The trick is to change that perspective. My perspective on life was much different last Wednesday, eating cereal with my sister at the breakfast table, than it was 5 minutes later, when I was covered in cheerios and my eldest sibling's brain. Any experience that you encounter throughout your life, no matter how minor it may seem, molds your forever-changing outlook on life. My sister's face being shattered into countless pieces right in front of me (and by my own hand at that), is a rather major experience, and would surely change my (or anyone's) perspective on life. Minor events do make a difference in how you view life, of that there is no doubt, but it's usually on more of a subconscious level. To briefly return to my original example, by robbing my sister of her life, I will undoubtedly think back to my course of action throughout the rest of my years, and wonder if my decision was justifiable. Small decisions may now seem greater, and my entire outlook on any little thing has now changed forever. However, the rather minor decision of whether to dump her body at the harbor or the landfill, seems to have taken no toll on my perspective of things, and has rendered me no different from before. This is not true. Perhaps now I will shy away from fish, subconsciously worrying that the same fish I eat may have feasted on my spongy sister's corpse. This however does not make life any less dull, because I don't realize that the change has occurred, whereas the death of my sister makes my life fresh and exciting. So, how do you avoid your life getting dull, without having to get so drastic as to kill a family member? There are numerous ways to redirect the way you'd normally think, maybe by taking up curling, or even learning to knit. But if you really want to assure yourself a drastic change in thought, then you should aim high. Before I had my revelation about trying new things to make my life exciting and new, I was a very simple guy. The thought of masturbating in public disgusted me, and I couldn't even imagine how someone could possibly want to do such a vulgar thing. But then I got to thinking about it, and how odd of a thing it was to do. Would it be possible to pull of? So one day during lunch with my friends, I pushed my hand downstairs and began stroking. When I reached climax, I bit down hard on my sandwich and muffled my moan. I had done it, and it was easier than I had presumed. After a while I told a couple friends about what I did, and it turns out that more people than you could possibly imagine do this everyday, in the most unimaginable places. To think, had I not decided to indulge myself in public, I would never see the world the way I do today. I never sit down at a restaurant without checking under the table before eating, and I never sit next to anyone who takes overly big, or unusually long bites from their sandwich. Sometimes major events aren't as drastic as a bullet being blast through the upper right portion of a family member's skull, sometimes it's as simple as realizing something you'd never even considered before. Now, this brings up another interesting dilemma: How do you think of something that you've never thought of before? What better way to answer a complex question than with a simple answer: Do something you've never done before. By doing something new, you're faced with new concepts, new problems, and most importantly, a new way of thinking about something. A quick wack-job in the café provided me with much insight into just how pathetic people really are, and it showed me that a turkey sandwich has more than one use; it not only tastes great, it also muffles sound, and the bread can soak up more liquid than most industrial sponges. No matter what you do to alter your currently dull views on life, remember not to dwell on the bad experiences that you may encounter. For it is impossible to take in all good things and never any bad. You can't expect to pull that trigger without having to take a shower afterwards, and you certainly can't expect to ejaculate into a sandwich and not have to buy a lunch that day. Just remember to hope for the best, and never succumb to routine, because people who fall victim to doing the same thing day in and day out, usually get shot in the face.