Restaurant Man: No please no Not tonight please no Mister - can't you go - Not tonight - can't have a scene Roger: What? Restaurant Man: Go, please go; You - Hello, sir - I said, "No" Important customer Mark: What am I - just a blur? Restaurant Man: You sit all night - you never buy! Mark: That's a lie - that's a lie I had a tea the other day Restaurant Man: You couldn't pay Mark: Oh yeah Collins: Benjamin Coffin III -- here? Restaurant Man: Oh no! All: Wine and beer! Maureen: The enemy of Avenue A We'll stay Restaurant Man: Oiy vey! Collins: What brings the mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe? Benny: I would like to propose a toast To Maureen's noble try It went well Maureen: Go to hell Benny: Was the yuppie scum stomped Not counting the homeless How many tickets weren't comped Roger: Why did Muffy -- Benny: Alison Roger: Miss the show? Benny: There was a death in the family If you must know Angel: Who died? Benny: Our Akita Benny, Mark, Angel, Collins: Evita Benny: Mimi - I'm surprised A bright and charming girl like you Hangs out with these slackers (Who don't adhere to deals) They make fun - yet I'm the one Attempting to do some good Or do you really want a neighborhood Where people piss on your stoop every night? Bohemia, Bohemia's A fallacy in your head This is Calcutta Bohemia is dead Mark: Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes Collins & Roger: Dies irae - dies illa Kyrie eleison Yitgadal v' yitkadash (etc) Mark: Here she lies No one knew her worth The late great daughter of mother earth On this night when we celebrate the birth In that little town of Bethlehem We raise our glass - you bet your ass to - La vie Boheme All: La vie Boheme La vie Boheme La vie Boheme La vie Boheme Mark: To days of inspiration Playing hookey, making something out of nothing The need to express - To communicate, To going against the grain, Going insane Going mad To loving tension, no pension To more than one dimension, To starving for attention, Hating convention, hating pretension Not to mention of course, Hating dear old mom and dad To riding your bike, Midday past the three piece suits To fruits - to no absolutes - To Absolut - to choice - To the Village Voice - To any passing fad To being an us for once- instead of a them All: La vie Boheme La vie Boheme Maureen: Is the equipment in a pyramid? Joanne: It is, Maureen Maureen: The mixer doesn't have a case Don't give me that face Mr. Grey: Ahhemm Maureen: Hey Mister - she's my sister Restaurant Man: So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter And one pasta with meatless balls Roger: Ew Collins: It tastes the same Mimi: If you close your eyes Restaurant Man: And thirteen orders of fries Is that it here? All: Wine and beer! Mimi & Angel: To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou Maureen & Collins: Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion Creation, vacation Mark: Mucho masturbation Maureen & Collins: Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new Collins: To Sontag Angel: To Sondheim Four People: To anything taboo Collins & Roger: Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage Collins: Lenny Bruce Roger: Langston Hughes Maureen: To the stage Person #1: To Uta Person #2: To Buddha Person #3: Pablo Neruda, too Mark & Mimi: Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow To blow off Auntie Em All: La vie Boheme Maureen: And wipe the speakers off before you pack Joanne: Yes, Maureen Maureen: Well - hurry back Mr. Grey: Sisters? Maureen: We're close Angel, Collins, Maureen, Mark, Mr. Grey: Brothers! Mark, Angel, Mimi & Three Others: Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa Carmina Burana All: To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC, To no shame - never playing the Fame Game Collins: To marijuana All: To sodomy, It's between God and me To S & M Benny: Waiter...Waiter...Waiter All: La vie Boheme Collins: In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner...Mimi Marquez clad only in bubblewrap, will perform her famous lawn chair- handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred. Roger: Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days. Mark: Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will sing native american tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello - which she has never studied. Benny: Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us? Mimi: There's nothing to know Benny: Don't you think that we should discuss -- Mimi: It was three months ago Benny: He doesn't act like he's with you Mimi: We're taking it slow Benny: Where is he now? Mimi: He's right -- hmm Benny: Uh huh Mimi: Where'd he go? Mark: Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song. (Roger picks up a guitar and plays) That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz" Collins: Angel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub. Angel: And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist - including the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcast the words: All: "Actual reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS" Benny: Check!! Mimi: Excuse me - did I do something wrong? I get invited - then ignored - all night long Roger: I've been trying - I'm not lying No one's perfect. I've got baggage Mimi: Life's too short, babe, time is flying I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine Roger: I should tell you -- Mimi: I've got baggage too Roger: I should tell you -- Mimi: I got baggage too Roger: I should tell you -- Both: Baggage - wine -- Others: And beer! Mimi: AZT break Roger: You? Mimi: Me. You? Roger: Mimi