Why are you such a stupid asshole? Would you really like to know? Well, remove your clothes and a vet will show you how. You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey. Be cheerful. Fit in, or someone might think you're weird. Life can be perfect. People can be trusted. Someday I will fall in love in a nice, quiet home of my very own. Free from all pain. Happy and having fun all the time. It never happened, did it? We got a drug We're gonna try it out on you Won't make you die It'll get you just a little bit sick Got a head cold, got a chest cold And it's three days old, going on forever Make you hazy, make you lazy, drive you crazy For days and days and days and days and years Barely got the time now To stay on the job Double up the dosage in your water supply Make you even sicker 'til you're slipping away Getting all depressed It's getting all your friends You can't get it up For nothing that'll rock the boat The government flu The government flu The government flu Slip it abroad Keep a-slowin' down the USSR But meanwhile We'll keep an eye on what it's doing to you Got a head cold, got a chest cold And it's three days old, going on forever Make you hazy, make you lazy, drive you crazy For days and days and days and days and days and days and days and days and days and days and days and days and years The government flu The government flu The government flu Flu you