Good morning dearly beloved We are gathered here today To watch two people we know make a big mistake They'll stand up at the alter And solemnly swear I do They'll be together forever Till they find somebody new Her daddy's in the front row Muttering oh no here we go again We had a couple dates Now she's three months late And it's twenty buck a plate I spent oh Good morning dearly beloved I'd like to welcome ya'll To see the side effects of sex and alcohol Please bow your heads and join me In a prayer for these two Who'll be together forever Till they find somebody new Oh yeah The bride is a flirt and the groom is worse As he's putting the ring on her He's checking out the bridesmaids Thinking that he might take The maid of honor's honor oh Welcome dearly beloved We are here this afternoon To throw rice as these two Drive down the road to ruin With can's tied to the bumper And a dragging muffler too They'll be together forever Till they find somebody new So raise your glass and join me Here's to the bride and groom They'll be together forever Till they find somebody new Now come back here now