Popular You're gonna be popular I'll teach you the proper ploys when you talk to boys Little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh I'll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair Everything that really counts to be Popular I'll help you be popular You'll hang with the right cohorts, you'll be good at sports Know the slang you've got to know So let's start 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go Don't be offended by my frank analysis Think of it as personality dialysis Now that I've chosen to become a pal A sister and adviser, there's nobody wiser Not when it comes to Popular I know about popular And with an assist from me to be who you'll be Instead of dreary who-you-were, well, are There's nothing that can stop you from becoming populer… lar! La, la, la, la We're gonna make you popular When I see depressing creatures With unprepossessing features I remind them on their own behalf to think of Celebrated heads of state Or especially great communicators Did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh They were Popular Right! It's all about popular It's not about aptitude, it's the way you're viewed So it's very shrewd to be Very, very popular like me, me And though you protest Your disinterest I know clandestinely You're gonna grin and bear it, your newfound popularity (Woo!) La, la, la, la La, la, la, la La, la, ooh You'll be popular Just not quite as popular as me