I can still remember The last time we played on Top Gear And though each little song Was less than three minutes long Mike squeezed a solo in... somehow And although we like our longer tunes It seemed polite to cut them down To little bits – they might be hits Who gives an... after all? Tell me how would you feel In the place of John Peel? You just can't please all of the musicians all the time Playing now is lovely Here in the BBC We're free to play almost as long and as loud As a jazz group, or an orchestra on Radio Three There are dancehalls and theatres With acoustics worse than here Not forgetting the extra facilities Such as the tea machine, just along the corridor So to all our mates like Kevin, Caravan, the old Pink Floyd Allow me to recommend 'Top Gear' Despite its extraordinary name Yes, playing, playing now is lovely Here in the BBC We're free to play almost as long and as loud As the foreign language classes... and the John Cage interview... and the jazz groups... and the orchestras on Radio 3 Pop stars drink each others' wine Plough each others' earth Hoping for companionship And then perhaps rebirth Plant seeds in fresher plots of earth Bound up in concepts and dreams And fears of worse things to come They never do They stay the same Music-making still Performs a normal function Background noise for people Eating and talking and drinking and smoking That's all right by us Don't think that we're complaining After all it's only leisure time, isn't it? I could almost sing this song In a nice tone of voice If I had to, I'd be glad to It's awfully nice to be here So let's open the beers and get tipsy We'd be mad to But if you sound refined You just can't blow the mind of a kiddy Or a young lady And if you come from the sun You just can't fool a mum into thinking That you're alright, really So before this feeling dies Remember, I could be telling lies Now, I love your eyes See how the time flies I think it's so great You seem to change your fate By working and playing Something new in every way Can be yours in a day But I wonder what I'm really saying So just before this feeling dies Remember I may be telling lies Falsehoods White lies Adverts Idle chat Banter Half-truths Rumours And just lies, plain lies... I shan't say... One more word... So instead... I'll play drums...