To Catch a Predator

歌詞

I'm on the Internet, posin' as a little girl I'm tryin' to lure evil into my world I tell them that I'm curious, and I'm only twelve Mom and Dad are gone for the day, I'm by myself Buckets of throw-up are next to my computer Hopin' that they show up, 'cause what I'm about to do to 'em Would make the Devil sick, I sharpen my blade Frontin' to this perv like I'm only in the seventh grade The doorbell rings, I gotta get 'em inside In my best little-girl's voice, I'm like "Hi, come on in! I'm putting on my bikini!" And when the door shuts, that's when I let 'em see me "Hi there." I stab 'em in the neck first, 'cause it hurts Hit 'em where the blood squirts Carve his whole face off and make him eat it Chain him up by the foot in the basement, bleeding I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said, it sure is fun (to catch a predator) And it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said, it sure is fun (to catch a predator) Soon enough, Feds'll be shuttin' down my service 'Cause people out there think they don't deserve this Until it's your kid an old man's finger-fuckin' Titty-suckin', then you'll want the knife stuck in I don't blame ya, that's why I catch 'em in advance While his dick is still in his pants, they never get the chance I tell 'em I'm alone and I'm only thirteen Lookin' for a good time, y'know what I mean? Bring me some Funyuns and a Slurpee Promise not to hurt me or give me herpes And within twenty minutes, here comes a fuckin' doctor Knockin' on my door, a pedophile butt-knocker "Come in! Have a seat!" And then I stroll in With the all-purpose hunting blade straight up his colon I cut his hands off, he ain't touchin' nobody Chain him up by the foot in the basement, bloody "Plea-please, Mister Clown, sir! You don't have to do—" "Zip it!" "Plea-please! I got money! We—" "Shut it, fucker!" "Please! We can work this out—" "Silence, I said!" Stick him next to this other fool, both left for dead Every time I walk by 'em, I punch 'em in the head Cut they fuckin' dicks off, stick 'em in each other's mouth Now what ya'll talkin' about? I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said, it sure is fun (to catch a predator) And it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said, it sure is fun (to catch a predator) "What's in the bag?" "Funyuns and condoms." "What's in the bag?" "Funyuns and condoms." "What's in the bag?" "Funyuns and condoms." "Why did you bring condoms?" "I didn't mean to." The house is getting funky Bodies in the basement stinkin' What the fuck am I thinkin'? I put my facepaint on, go downstairs And beat they ass sometimes, 'cause it ease my mind Some of them are dead and some are still livin' But I'ma hurt 'em every chance that I'm given I hit 'em with the nail gun or the stun gun They can't run, so they both mad fun I was sawin' the head off when I heard the doorbell I'm not expectin' any predators, but oh well I took my spot, "Come in, I'll be right there" But I left a head sittin' on a living room chair He seen it and ran, I had to give chase We cut across the lawn with my knife swingin' for his face I threw it and stuck him in the back of the neck Still in my drawers, I dragged him home a bloody wreck "AAAAH!" "Ssh!" "SOMEBODY! HEL—!" "Zip it!" "STOP! PLEA—!" "Shut it the fuck up!" "AAARRH!" "People are lookin'! Silence!" A bus full of high-school kids watched it happen He kept screamin' like a pansy despite my slappin' Plus the neighbors seen it, and so did the mailman But they all never said nothin' 'bout it again I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said, it sure is fun (to catch a predator) And it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said, it sure is fun (to catch a predator) "Meanwhile, back at the house..." "Hey! Come on in! What kind of alcohol did you bring?" "I brought Absolut Citron, I brought Mandarin orange, I brought a shot of Jägermeister." "Wow." "In several cases, the men were asked to bring food, alcohol and condoms. Law enforcement says this helps show an intent to solicit a minor. What have we got here?" "A bag of Funyuns." "Funyuns? What about condoms? Did you bring condoms?"