Fear lingering, running through my heart like a wild stream Just a little kid, blood flowing into my rosy cheeks Now the river runs red from my knuckles into the sink And there's a pill there staring through the mirror at me Maybe it's just a dream, wish I could go back to sleep Hydrangeas blooming off the branches on park trees It's a half-hearted call, the way I've felt since I was 13 'Cause I may not feel it now, covered up the wounds with my long sleeves But I know it's raining there, swimming through my bloodstream And it's gonna come for me, yeah, it's gonna come for me What did you have that I didn't? And why am I so blue? Someone's talking in my forehead It says I'll never be like you Happiness is like a firefly on summer free evenings Feel it slipping through my fingers But I can't catch it in my hand Catch it in my hand False memories driven starting down from my barren knees I ran too fast, fell down on my face in the concrete I guess the lesson's learned, I barely left my room in the past week I've got my guard up, trying all the time to stay clean I don't feel anything, I won't feel anything What did you have that I didn't? And why am I so fucked? There's someone talking up in my forehead It says I'll never be enough And happiness is like a firefly on summer free evenings Feel it circling through my fingers But I can't catch it in my hands Catch it in my hands