Now don't say Jim Johnson weren't with 'ee last night I heard him as plain as can be I was crossing the mound when I heard a strange sound Down by the sycamore tree I thought perhaps a cow had got stuck in the mud And pulled out its foot with a moo But I'm satisfied now that that noise weren't a cow It was Jim kissing you You'm a five foot flirt wi' the face of an angel You better had leave I alone Why the way you're acting it nearly unnerves I The thing that preserves I is my joviality Though I've got trouble as thick as the stubble It's you that's the worst of them all Get out of my track and if you want to come back You can crawl, crawl, crawl. Remember what happened last Saturday night The air was so peaceful and still Like a bolt from the blue came a hullabaloo A growling and a cackling so shrill It came to my head as I leapt from my bed There's a fox at my chickens, that's true I crept out in my socks and bumped into the fox It was Jim kissing you You'm a five foot flirt wi' the face of an angel You better had leave I alone Why the way you're acting it nearly unnerves I The thing that preserves I is my joviality Though I've got trouble as thick as the stubble It's you that's the worst of them all Get out of my track and if you want to come back You can crawl, crawl, crawl. Now what's your excuse for last Sunday in church It fair turned the poor vicar grey While the organist was rendering, "Lead Kindly Light" Jim Johnson kept pumping away Then all of a sudden the organ stopped short The vicar got into a stew When he went round behind tell me what did he find He found Jim kissing you You'm a five foot flirt wi' the face of an angel You better had leave I alone Why the way you're acting it nearly unnerves I The thing that preserves I is my joviality Though I've got trouble as thick as the stubble It's you that's the worst of them all Get out of my track and if you want to come back You can crawl, crawl, crawl.