You've been this way since school Dysfunctional, translucent Royalty on your wall So desperately mundane They're inbred, baby, just like you But you'd love the chance to eat their food Even though it has been chewed Royal correspondent Sad and lonely Royal correspondent Kills her daily Dream of the Daily Mail It is the Holy Grail Then the BBC Your life would be complete Build a fountain, wash away the poor Just as long as your motives are pure Hold on tight or you just might lose her Royal correspondent Wears their Sunday best Royal correspondent Smarter than the rest Royal correspondent Smarter than the rest Royal correspondent Smarter than the rest Royal correspondent Smarter than the rest Royal correspondent Smarter than the rest Smarter than the rest